On Indigenous Dependency

Years ago, I remember seeing a celebrity by the name of Chief Dan George who would appear at various events and put on a soliloquy full of moans and groans about the great oppressions to which he and his people had been exposed. Even back then, the guy used to make me puke. This is why I read things like Hearne's journal. It paints a picture rather different from the Hollywood version that fills the minds of the Liberal bovine masses of today.

Page 188 from Hearne's Journal. I detect a similar pattern in Indigenous politics today.

Their dispositions are in general morose and covetous, and they seem to be entirely unacquainted even with the name of gratitude. They are for ever pleading poverty, {307} even among themselves; and when they visit the Factory, there is not one of them who has not a thousand wants.

When any real distressed objects present themselves at the Company's Factory, they are always relieved with victuals, clothes, medicines, and every other necessary, gratis; and in return, they instruct every one of their countrymen how to behave, in order to obtain the same charity. Thus it is very common to see both men and women come to the Fort half-naked, when either the severe cold in Winter, or the extreme troublesomeness of the flies in Summer, make it necessary for every part to be covered. On those occasions they are seldom at a loss for a plausible story, which they relate as the occasion of their distress (whether real or pretended), and never fail to interlard their history with plenty of sighs, groans, and tears, sometimes affecting to be lame, and even blind, in order to excite pity. Indeed, I know of no people that have more command of their passions on such occasions; and in this respect the women exceed the men, as I can affirm with truth I have seen some of them with one side of the face bathed in tears, while the other has exhibited a significant smile. False pretences for obtaining charity are so common among those people, and so often detected, that the Governor is frequently obliged to turn a deaf ear to many who apply for relief; for[300] if he did not, he might give away the whole of the Company's goods, and by degrees all the Northern {308} tribe would make a trade of begging, instead of bringing furrs, to purchase what they want. It may truly be said, that they possess a considerable degree of deceit, and are very complete adepts in the art of flattery, which they never spare as long as they find that it conduces to their interest, but not a moment longer. They take care always to seem attached to a new Governor, and flatter his pride, by telling him that they look up to him as the father of their tribe, on whom they can safely place their dependance; and they never fail to depreciate the generosity of his predecessor, however extensive that might have been, however humane or disinterested his conduct; and if aspersing the old, and flattering the new Governor, has not the desired effect in a reasonable time, they represent him as the worst of characters, and tell him to his face that he is one of the most cruel of men; that he has no feeling for the distresses of their tribe, and that many have perished for want of proper assistance, (which, if it be true, is only owing to want of humanity among themselves,) and then they boast of having received ten times the favours and presents from his predecessor. It is remarkable that those are most lavish in their praises, who have never either deserved or received any favours from him. In time, however, this language also ceases, and they are perfectly reconciled to the man whom they would willingly have made a fool, and say, "he is no child, and not to be deceived by them."

They differ so much from the rest of mankind, that harsh uncourteous usage seems to agree better with the generality of them, particularly the lower class, than mild treatment; for if the least respect be shown them, it makes them intolerably insolent; and though some of their leaders may be exempt from this imputation, yet there are but few even of them who have sense enough to set a proper value on the favours and indulgences which are granted to them while they[301] remain at the Company's Factories, or elsewhere within their territories. Experience has convinced me, that by keeping a Northern Indian at a distance, he may be made serviceable both to himself and the Company; but by giving him the least indulgence at the Factory, he will grow indolent, inactive, and troublesome, and only contrive methods to tax the generosity of an European.

The greatest part of these people never fail to defraud Europeans whenever it is in their power, and take every method to over-reach them in the way of trade. They will disguise their persons and change their names, in order to defraud them of their lawful debts, which they are sometimes permitted to contract at the Company's Factory; and all debts that are outstanding at the succession of a new Governor are entirely lost, as they always declare, and bring plenty of witnesses to prove, that they were paid long before, but that their names had been forgotten to be struck out of the book.

Notwithstanding all those bad qualities, they are the mildest tribe of Indians that trade at any of the Company's settlements; and as the greatest part of them are never heated with liquor, are always in their senses, and never proceed to riot, or any violence beyond bad language.

Indigenous Medical Knowledge

I don't know if sucking, blowing, and singing to the patient's anus or 'parts adjacent' is, in any way, an effective therapy, but if I ever find myself in need of such medical expertise, I hope they send me to an indigenous healing tent filled with good-looking (female) nurses.

Several of the Indians being very ill, the conjurers, who are always the doctors, and pretend to perform great cures, began to try their skill to effect their recovery. Here it is necessary to remark, that they use no medicine either for internal or external complaints, but perform all their cures by charms. In ordinary cases, sucking the part affected, blowing, and singing to it; {190} laughing, spitting, and at the same time uttering a heap of unintelligible jargon, compose the whole process of the cure. For some inward complaints; such as, griping in the intestines, difficulty of making water, &c., it is very common to see those jugglers[210] blowing into the anus, or into the parts adjacent, till their eyes are almost starting out of their heads: and this operation is performed indifferently on all, without regard either to age or sex. The accumulation of so large a quantity of wind is at times apt to occasion some extraordinary emotions, which are not easily suppressed by a sick person; and as there is no vent for it but by the channel through which it was conveyed thither, it sometimes occasions an odd scene between the doctor and his patient; which I once wantonly called an engagement, but for which I was afterward exceedingly sorry, as it highly offended several of the Indians; particularly the juggler and the sick person, both of whom were men I much esteemed, and, except in that moment of levity, it had ever been no less my inclination than my interest to shew them every respect that my situation would admit.

I have often admired the great pains these jugglers take to deceive their credulous countrymen, while at the same time they are indefatigably industrious and persevering in their efforts to relieve them. Being naturally not very delicate, they frequently continue their windy process so long, that I have more than once seen the doctor quit his patient with his face and breast in a very disagreeable condition. However {191} laughable this may appear to an European, custom makes it very indecent, in their opinion, to turn any thing of the kind to ridicule.

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Far be it for me to turn such knowledge into ridicule!